I'm here, I'm weird and... I love enjoying my FPSes on a controller

So this is a very controversial issue. I mean, I would have never guessed it would be a polarizing topic, but there you are. It turns out out that I have serious a problem comparable to alcoholism. I'm just gonna say it: shooting people with a controller is very fun. You might think: "He surely means something like Destiny, poor console sod that UncleBartek". The real shocker is that I actually do it on PC! In the last year I really had a jolly good time with games like Bioshock Infinite, Far Cry 3 or Borderlands 2, all on the Xbox controller hooked up to my PC. Before you completely dismiss me as a raving madman, please allow me to make a case for my crazy behavior.

As a crippled young adult in the Olde Country I took to video games as soon as I discovered them. Fantastical realms sure were much more cheerful than growing up with a serious disability in Poland. One of the first games I really compelled me was Counter Strike. It was around that time, year 2000 or something, when LAN gaming seriously took off in my city. I had a lightning fast 128 kbit broadband and with that came a very friendly local community. They all played CS so I decided to give it a go. I spent countless hours being completely abysmal at Counter Strike. My little sister, then a sweet 9 years old, was owning me at bloody CS (guys, please remember that whenever you feel emasculated). Nevertheless, fond memories were born.

Let's fast forward to last year. I was seriously ill, unemployed and in a dire need for a pick-me-up. As we often do, I turned to a familiar thing from the past, namely CS. I booted up the game and quickly realized that what had become my primary gaming accessory is simply not supported. I did what any normal gamer would do and I took to the Steam forums. Instead finding a viable fix, I found literally hundreds of people telling me, and people like me, that the sheer idea of playing CS on a gamepad is something we should be downright ashamed of. Honestly, I don't know a single other issue on the internet where the ratio of hate to constructive commenting is so bad. After reading 10 different threads telling me the same thing, I simply gave up and never ran the game again.

Since that time I've become familiar with just how pervasive of an opinion this is on the internet. I got into watching Youtube and it was Youtube that actually inspired me to write this. My favorite Youtuber, John Bain a.k.a. Totalbiscuit is one of my 3 favorite content creators. His in-depth analysis of games is a joy to behold and his recommendations are always spot-on. However, I just can't stand the fact that on 3 or 4 out of last 5 episodes of his otherwise-superb podcast he relentlessly mocked me for shooting people with a bloody controller. The tone of this mockery is insulting to my intelligence and playing FPS games on a controller  is presented to be a sign of idiocy.

For me personally, controllers are simply a better solution for FPS games. My right hand is much weaker than the left which makes it really tricky to operate a tightly packed keyboard. Of course, this means that even with a controller my aim takes time which makes me very vulnerable and comparatively  much much worse than most a good FPS player. But for me, KBM only makes the situation worse, and not better. Obviously, I get obliterated in most games, especially versus KBM players. But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the game. I'm a class achiever and racking up some kills when I know I'm at a disadvantage feels great and well-earned. This is the way that I want to play the game. Why is it so nonsensical and dumb to play in a suboptimal manner?  Why can't I be a cool haxor challenge to use a controller in CS? Dammit, we live in a time when playing Dark Souls blindfolded is an actual thing...!

The best thing is that this goes beyond people with disabilities. My dad is what you would call an old gamer. just a 50 years old guy who occasionally loves to shoot stuff in the face Frank-Underwood style. He's never used a keyboard and mouse for games and probably never will. I'm sure that there are many gamers in the non-traditional segments of the market that feel the same way. PCs are the future of gaming, this is the last proper generation of consoles and we all know it. As PC gamers it's about time we open our hearts and embrace the casual peasants of the world. They help funding our favourite franchises. They deserve to enjoy their favorite titles with a controller in their sexy noob hands.

Before I go, a quick question to developers: What would be the difficulty in setting up controller-only servers in your PC releases, where KBM input is simply blocked. Even if you think only a small portion of your player base would be interested this would give you one 'uuuuge benefit. That way games could support crossplay with the consoles without  the inherent imbalance of power and skill. And while you're at it devs, please introduce full controller button customization in your PC releases. The townfolk of Cripplopolis will  be eternally grateful

Why I think independents like Jim Sterling set a new ethical standard in gaming journalism.

First of all, it's nice to be back in business. My recovery took a slight detour for the worse, which took my muse away for a couple of months. Luckily, things are picking up again. I shall continue this semi-serious project of mine. At least until I'm tired of bumming around :P

Anyway, where were we? Today I spent over 2 hours hanging out on the Jimquisition, the HQ of one of my favourite game critics, Mr. Jim Sterling. Today also happens to be the eve of Far Cry Primal's release.  The game is indeed a highly anticipated title with a lot of marketing and PR clout behind it. It also seems like a major re-envisioning of the Far Cry formula. Jim Sterling played the review version of the game and concluded that most of the new concepts give new life to the somewhat stale formula. A quite reasonable notion, especially considering that all the material I have seen on the game seems to indicate that the game is at least solid.

Giving the game an 8.5 was met with considerable opposition from some fans. One of them, to whom I dedicate this entry, went as far as suggesting that the publisher, Ubisoft had paid for Jim's positive review. This makes little to no sense for a number of reasons. Firstly, Mr. Sterling does not provide ad space anywhere in his enterprise, buying of which usually is the primary tactic used by publishers to encourage score inflation. Secondly, the Jimquisition is a patreon-fueled operation. Even a hint of a scandal will put this independent project in jeopardy.

Lastly, and most importantly, approaching Jim with a shady deal makes no sense for Ubisoft itself. People like Jim or SuperBunnyHop have built their brands on uncovering scandals and general shadiness within our industry. Trying to bribe them is such an incredibly dumb and risky idea that not even Ubisoft would resort to pursuing it. 

We live in times of general distrust for gaming journalists. Don't get me wrong, there are some legitimate reasons to be concerned. We have to stay vigilant and keep Youtube accountable. At the same time, we cannot be consumed by paranoia. Thanks to the crowdfunding movement the independent sector of the gaming industry has flourished. Hard work of people like Jim is at least partly responsible for the bounce-back year of 2015, after the atrocious 2014. Today, more than ever, it is vital to stand together with independent Youtubers such as Jim Sterling, because the alternative is infinitely grimmer . I encourage everyone to scroll through the review section of IGN US. It really fills you with new appreciation for people like Jim.