
As a crippled young adult in the Olde Country I took to video games as soon as I discovered them. Fantastical realms sure were much more cheerful than growing up with a serious disability in Poland. One of the first games I really compelled me was Counter Strike. It was around that time, year 2000 or something, when LAN gaming seriously took off in my city. I had a lightning fast 128 kbit broadband and with that came a very friendly local community. They all played CS so I decided to give it a go. I spent countless hours being completely abysmal at Counter Strike. My little sister, then a sweet 9 years old, was owning me at bloody CS (guys, please remember that whenever you feel emasculated). Nevertheless, fond memories were born.
Let's fast forward to last year. I was seriously ill, unemployed and in a dire need for a pick-me-up. As we often do, I turned to a familiar thing from the past, namely CS. I booted up the game and quickly realized that what had become my primary gaming accessory is simply not supported. I did what any normal gamer would do and I took to the Steam forums. Instead finding a viable fix, I found literally hundreds of people telling me, and people like me, that the sheer idea of playing CS on a gamepad is something we should be downright ashamed of. Honestly, I don't know a single other issue on the internet where the ratio of hate to constructive commenting is so bad. After reading 10 different threads telling me the same thing, I simply gave up and never ran the game again.
Since that time I've become familiar with just how pervasive of an opinion this is on the internet. I got into watching Youtube and it was Youtube that actually inspired me to write this. My favorite Youtuber, John Bain a.k.a. Totalbiscuit is one of my 3 favorite content creators. His in-depth analysis of games is a joy to behold and his recommendations are always spot-on. However, I just can't stand the fact that on 3 or 4 out of last 5 episodes of his otherwise-superb podcast he relentlessly mocked me for shooting people with a bloody controller. The tone of this mockery is insulting to my intelligence and playing FPS games on a controller is presented to be a sign of idiocy.
For me personally, controllers are simply a better solution for FPS games. My right hand is much weaker than the left which makes it really tricky to operate a tightly packed keyboard. Of course, this means that even with a controller my aim takes time which makes me very vulnerable and comparatively much much worse than most a good FPS player. But for me, KBM only makes the situation worse, and not better. Obviously, I get obliterated in most games, especially versus KBM players. But that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the game. I'm a class achiever and racking up some kills when I know I'm at a disadvantage feels great and well-earned. This is the way that I want to play the game. Why is it so nonsensical and dumb to play in a suboptimal manner? Why can't I be a cool haxor challenge to use a controller in CS? Dammit, we live in a time when playing Dark Souls blindfolded is an actual thing...!

Before I go, a quick question to developers: What would be the difficulty in setting up controller-only servers in your PC releases, where KBM input is simply blocked. Even if you think only a small portion of your player base would be interested this would give you one 'uuuuge benefit. That way games could support crossplay with the consoles without the inherent imbalance of power and skill. And while you're at it devs, please introduce full controller button customization in your PC releases. The townfolk of Cripplopolis will be eternally grateful
Cool blog Bartek! I enjoy your posts! I think CS:GO has native support for xbox controllers, but as you mentioned earlier - there are no "gamepad only" servers :/. Either way, keep up posting, because you already got one fellow reader :D (Yasu)
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